In the Chuckie Codpiece story from yesterday I talked about how I tormented my ex boyfriend "Chuckie's" bill collectors... of which there were many. In fact I think some of them called just for a break in their boring ass day; days full of people scraping together something to pay them, offering them payment in the form of farm animals, or just saying whatever they have to just to tell these people they don't have the money. That is really one of the things I don't understand about collections. I would answer the phone and give them access to my bank account if I thought it would make them honestly believe that -$4.57 is in fact my current balance. It just is. I am a student. I am poor. This is life.
Bill collectors are a special breed though, as are telemarketers, they believe in unicorns, fairies, and the idea that I do have a Swedish "nameless" bank account and I am just WAITING for the day to be rich. Yeppers... just waiting.... that telemarketer is going to call and tell me when that day is... or I will finally hear back from Ndugu in Nigeria about my 22 million GBP.... that man with the balloons and the giant check will appear at my door and tell me it is my day to be rich. The telemarketer would believe I would SURELY sit right down and call my bill collectors FIRST THING. The bill collector already believes and maintains an attitude that I live in some island nation with weak extradition laws.
Anywho... Dave mentioned this guy in the comments of yesterday's post. I have heard it many times.. and many times wondered if this guy Tom would be suitable for marriage... or at least be fun to hang out with. I would have to start wearing adult diapers... so there is some give and take here. So here it is, a man after my own heart.... PLEASE let me know if you have NEVER heard this! I will literally fall over in shock. It is old but it is great!