Snarky is defined, by the Urban Dictionary, as the following: “A witty mannerism, personality, or
behavior that is a combination of sarcasm and cynicism; usually accepted as a complimentary term. Snark is sometimes mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude.”Insomnia
Insomnia is defined by the Urban Dictionary, as the following: “The state of sleep loss. No matter how much you desire dreamland, it refuses you entry. You stand at the gates, whining, crying, but stuck in the world of buzzing activity. Otherwise known as the hell on earth.”
Both of these terms seem to define who I am and likely one leads to the other. It would be too easy though, I suppose to blame my snark on my insomnia; truthfully I have been snarky for far longer than insomnia has plagued me. I felt however that I should let you in on both of the two major defining terms of my present situation. For it would terribly rude of me not to warn you that I am a sleep deprived, cynical, and sarcastic… however a perfectly loveable person; the fact remains that my brand of humor is often misunderstood and taken for unladylike.
You cannot place blame on my mother; she has tried to teach me the finer ways of life. Things like sitting up straight, not scratching itches, which fork to use, proper language and its usage, and I do fine when I am required to “clean up”. I am not a complete loss. I do know how to behave when being observed.
Though in my private time I am scratching, slouching, using spoons, and cursing up a storm. The first time I ever got in trouble at school… okay well the second time, the first time is a different issue involving gender discovery and kindergarten.
The second time I got in trouble in school was for cursing at another student. I shall point out that the other student called me a name and I let him have the best of my vocabulary at the time. I am not even sure I fully understood the meaning of the words I used just that they were bad. The vice principal called me into his office after over hearing me drop the f bomb and admonished me for my lack of grace and girlish innocence. The other student a boy, who my father swears to this day, just had a crush on me, never served a lunch detention for rhyming my last name with something… I get a bit testy when you do that.
The point is I am not your average southern belle. My father calls it spitfire and feistiness. My mother is just glad I stopped getting into spitting contests with the boys, nasty habit. She was never very comfortable with my ability to get along better with boys over girls. Likely if questioned she would say this contributed to my lack of social graces and permanently put me in the “friend-zone” and not the “girl I should marry and take off my mother’s hands zone”. It is not as if I did not have my girlie things and do not have any now. I have a small obsession with makeup and skincare products that would be much larger if I had the budget. I danced ballet for nearly 20 years of my life and dreamed of going professional as a child. (Side note: not a
huge fan of the color pink; blue, blue is my favorite color any shade.) I enjoy a good bouquet of peonies or gardenias from a gentleman caller anytime. My collection of perfume could rival most department store fragrance counters. I like shoes but have horrible feet and have never learned to walk in heels so my main fashion obsession is the Coach bag. Any Coach bag; well truth be told any high end designer handbag I just cannot afford anything outside of the Coach outlet. So there it is… my first Confession post… not so much confessional just more familiarizing yourself with me and things you may or may not know about me. I have a list of things to “confess” and explain my opinions on ad-naseum.
Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions for my takes on ANYTHING. I will literally tell you like I see it. And hopefully make you laugh in the process.
xoxo ~ A
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