Snarky.

Jan 4, 2022

Originally published on 2/17/2012 on this site.

Snarky
Snarky is defined, by the Urban Dictionary, as the following:

“A witty mannerism, personality, or behavior that is a combination

of sarcasm and cynicism; usually accepted as a complimentary term.

Snark is sometimes mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude.”

Insomnia
Insomnia is defined by the Urban Dictionary, as the following:

“The state of sleep loss. No matter how much you desire dreamland,

it refuses your entry. You stand at the gates, whining, and crying,

but stuck in the world of buzzing activity. Otherwise known as the hell on earth.”

Both of these terms seem to define who I am and likely one leads to the other.

It would be too easy though, I suppose to blame my snark on my insomnia;

truthfully I have been snarky for far longer than insomnia has plagued me.

I felt however that I should let you in on both of the two major defining terms

of my present situation. For it would terribly rude of me not to warn you that

I am sleep deprived, cynical, and sarcastic… however a perfectly loveable

person; the fact remains that my brand of humor is often misunderstood

and taken for unladylike.

You cannot place blame on my mother; she has tried to teach me the finer

ways of life. Things like sitting up straight, not scratching itches, which

fork to use, proper language and its usage, and I do fine when I am

required to “clean up”. I am not a complete loss. I do know how to behave

when being observed.

Though in my private time I am scratching, slouching, using spoons, and

cursing up a storm. The first time I ever got in trouble at school… okay

well the second time, the first time is a different issue involving gender

discovery and kindergarten. The second time I got in trouble in school

was for cursing at another student. I shall point out that the other student

called me a name and I let him have the best of my vocabulary at the time.

I am not even sure I fully understood the meaning of the words I used just

that they were bad. The vice principal called me into his office after

overhearing me drop the f-bomb and admonished me for my lack of grace

and girlish innocence. The other student a boy, who my father swears to this

day, just had a crush on me, never served lunch detention for rhyming my

last name with something…

I get a bit testy when you do that.

The point is I am not your average southern belle. My father calls it spitfire

and feistiness. My mother is just glad I stopped getting into spitting contests

with the boys, a nasty habit. She was never very comfortable with my ability

to get along better with boys over girls. Likely if questioned she would say

this contributed to my lack of social graces and permanently put me in the

“friend zone” and not the “girl I should marry and take off my mother’s hands

zone”. It is not as if I did not have my girlie things and do not have any now.

I have a small obsession with makeup and skincare products that would be

much larger if I had the budget. I danced ballet for nearly 20 years of my life

and dreamed of going professional as a child. (Side note: not a huge fan of the

color pink; blue, blue is my favorite color any shade.) I enjoy a good bouquet

of peonies or gardenias from a gentleman caller anytime. My collection of

perfume could rival most department store fragrance counters. I like shoes

but have horrible feet and have never learned to walk in heels so my main

fashion obsession is the Coach bag. Any Coach bag; well truth be told any

high-end designer handbag I just cannot afford anything outside of the Coach

outlet.

So there it is… my first Confession post… not so much confessional just

more familiarizing yourself with me and things you may or may not know

about me. I have a list of things to “confess” and explain my opinions on

ad-nauseum.

Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions for my takes on

ANYTHING. I will literally tell you as I see it. And hopefully, make

you laugh in the process.

xoxo ~ the Belle